Thoughts on Daleks in Manhattan

[kaliha]

Spoilers within, like.


I want to wake up in the city that never sleeps

So we move from New¹³ New York to plain out New York. Only I think this one has less flying cars and more people with Noo Yoirk accents. It looked quite pretty in the 1930s.

Shake them tassles

And it's not the 1930s without some dancing girls with big feather fans and sequins.

Does my bum look big in this

Meet Lazlo and Talullah. Star crossed lovers, she's a 'dancer', he's a lowly stage hand. He loves her tassley arse. Then again shiny bums have always been made of win in the Who universe and that's just a fact.

Don't he look sweet?

The long shot on Lazlo looking all smooth and pretty is foreshadowing if ever there was one. Remember that pretty face, it's pretty much the last time you'll ever see it.

Meanwhile, elsewhere in the city

The TARDIS lands by the most recognisable landmark in all of New York. Not to impress Martha though. It's just so he can find it later on. There's nothing worse than parking your brilliant time machine somewhere behind Broadway in an anonymous alleyway only to be unable to find it when being chased by a pile of angry hoofers. Although parking it on an island was hardly a brilliant idea. What about when the ferries aren’t running?

Greenscreen a go-go!

There's someone in the Mill and all they do all day is erase out the bits of greenscreen in between Freema and David's hair. It's a thankless task. They're looking at some wall in Cardiff muttering "how come Collinson gets to go to New York – no fair."

A park, in Cardiff

It looks a bit nippy.

And to your left is the Dalek Empire State Building

The Doctor admires the scenery whilst Martha has a bit of an Isaac from Heroes moment and has a vision. She doesn't say anything to the Doctor though. He wouldn't notice though he's a bit busy chatting up Soloman.

Meanwhile, over in the Dalek Empire State Building

First rule of costume design – stick your bad guys in Black. (Make your own theories as to how that affects the Ninth Doctor ;))but at least he looks snazzy in it with his black pinstripes and even better SPATS! *loves*

Winner of the most surreal sight of the week award

Dalek in a lift. Bonus points for making the lift doors look like a Dalek eyestalk. Impressed that the Daleks are building the Empire State Building though. Even ever despot pepperpots know that Construction is the occupational area to be in. So much money to be made. Not that Daleks need money. They're classic intergalactic highwaymen.

Body language #101

Playin with your earlobe = lying. Can't figure out what he could possibly be lying about though. I keep getting distracted with him playing with himself *ahem* Hey, if I didn't say it, one of you lot would have.

Carrying on the new tradition of taking Martha to the 'classiest' of places

The Doctor volunteers them for a trip in the sewers. Martha worries quietly about Crocs and Ninja Turtles in the sewers, the Doctor's busy thinking authentic 1930s santitation systems, fantastic! (He's easily pleased)

Southern Boy is without a home

leaving his family so as not to be a drain on them. Bless. He's also the only person to notice that Martha's not from round these parts. Martha feels a bit nippy but won't do her jacket up properly. She'll catch her death that girl. I think I figured out why the Doctor's not let her change (and it's not the whole 'one trip' thing – which has been conveniently forgotten this week) – it's because he likes watching her walk in those tight jeans. Asexual my arse.

What's that glowing in the darkness?

it could be anything – a bomb, radioactive Ninja Turtle, anything, and what is the first thing the Doctor does?

Lick it! Lick it!

(Oh, missed opportunity) That's right pick it up and give it a sniff. Martha's unimpressed. I am also, mainly because the alien jellyfish stops glowing the moment it's picked up and Freema has to backlight it with her torch to make it look good..Woe.

So, where are we?

That's right. Ask the bloke who has trouble finding the right planet. TomTom he's not. *doesn't make a cheap Specs in the City joke*

Meanwhile up in the sky

Emo!Dalek laments for his lost planet. He's not as heart wrenching as when the Doctor does it. Proving the Daleks are rubbish. *plays the world's smallest violin* poor diddums.

Sec's in the city

Oh give over, everyone's done that joke this week. Although I'm glad we didn't have the Dalek's going on about their sex lives in graphic detail. Oh wait…

And some plot happens, but that's not important.

Why have we not had a story about a Dalek boyband yet?

Why Rusty, why?

It's a manpig . . . man

Poor emo!manpig, he looks so sad. I am led to wonder though if the Slitheen heard about his pig hybrids and stole the idea to create their alien over seventy years later?

And then there was running, and screaming

Ooh, there's nothing like a bit of running down some dark corridors. Hoorah!

Nooooooooooooooooooooooo!

The Doctor fails to save another person. This makes him emo. But he doesn't get too much time to dwell on it as he's held-up by Talullah.

She's also a bit emo

because Lazlo's gone missing. And she doesn't take kindly to being dumped.

The Doctor tries to cheer her up with a present

The Milk Tray man he ain't. (He obviously wasn't paying enough attention to the adverts, it isn't because "all because the lady wants an alien jellyfish that smells of shite")

The Doctor is surprised by someone else who can see through his facade


Elsewhere, Martha is pinching Talullah's make-up

It's all full of lead and other toxic chemicals y'know.

Martha spreads compassion

Because it's in the Companion's job description (only she doesn't realise that this is a massive interview for the role). She also uses it as a distraction away from the Doctor being a 'lover of musical theatre'. Which maybe he is, for all Martha knows 'Rose' could actually be a 40 year old drag artist from Vegas.

But Talullah is full of hope

Because in true Phantom of the Opera style, someone is leaving the leading lady a token of affection. But who possibly could it be?

I'm sure this will all be explained

in the next episode.

OMG Dalek Pr0n!

*covers eyes* it's a nekkid Dalek!

More nekkid Dalek!

*doesn't make a Cthulu comment* (generally because I have trouble spelling it). I do love Dalek Sec's little monitor.

Eugh! Dalek Sex

Sec does dirty alien sex on a poor innocent. The other Daleks are horrified (or would be if their emotions hadn't been bred out). The Cult of Skaro are supposed to think out of the box, but this is verging on the ridiculous.
Small Child: Mummy, why is the Dalek doing that to the man?
Mum: When a Dalek is faced with extinction…

Rusty gives the Dad's something to take their minds off what they just saw.

A dancer, she's not.

This really reminds me of those synchronised swimming musicals from the 40s

Only with more feathers.

The Doctor tries to figure out which old school enemy he's facing this week.

Then he realises.

Oh. Bollocks. He thinks.

The Doctor should hire a bunch of dancing girls

Then they could fight crime but look really cool when they do so. With feathers and big dance routines.

Really,

That's not the most sensible of footwear for playing in some sewers. What if you're chased by an alligator or something?

Martha finds a friend

Being kidnapped not so bad when you've got a friend to hand.

The Daleks need wing mirrors

Having no peripheral vision is a real drawback on the Dalek body. You could sneal along behind them and they'd never know. Or hid right in front of them just to really piss them off.

The Doctor gets emo

Why won't they just die? I don't know how many times it's going to take the Doctor to see Daleks scattered through time and space to realise that if they survived then surely more than just him would have survived from Team Gallifrey. But he won't even consider the fact, even though it's been glaringly obvious since the Ninth Doctor was around. Sometimes the Doctor truly is impressively stupid. It's an art, it really is.

Someone left the toast on

Quick, now. Else the smoke alarm'll go off. Oh, a Dalek toaster. That would look ace in my kitchen!

Talullah discovers that Lazlo really is a pig

But she still loves him. Which is sweet.

Told you to make the most of him when he still looked pretty.

Go on, scroll back up to admire his really smooth face.

Martha, this is a Dalek

Martha remembers what the Doctor told her last week. They don't look very scary, she thinks. They'd got a sink plunger for a hand. What's the worst they can do? Sucker me to death? Whatever you do Martha, don't touch it!

The Doctor rejoins the party

I feel Jack is rubbing off on the Doctor, and this one's not even met him yet. Offering kisses here, there and everywhere. He'd probably even give a Dalek a kiss if not for the fact they destroyed his world.

Getting back to the plot

The Doctor gets Martha to ask for some exposition because he's still consumed with rage at the Daleks. The Cult of Skaro are not noted for their smarts – they've not even noticed their arch enemy is in the room. Stupid despots.

Freema pulls the best faces


Prick me, I'm done!


Gisus a kiss

What? Just what? This episode is going to feature in a future Jumping the Quark in SFX, I can just see it (If they bring it back that is)

*is incoherent*

In Conclusion
It was quite fun. But I'm getting really tired of seeing the Daleks (YOU MUST NOT BLASTHEME!) The Doctor beats them every time – it's making them much less of a threat. How did they manage to beat the Doctor and win the last great Time Lord? Because they really can't organise a piss up in a brewery when they get beaten by one little alien and his human mates.

And we had the worst cliffhanger ever thanks to the Radio Times spoiling the surprise, but then again have the spoilers ruined is all part of the course for this episode (what with the pictures of Dalek Sec being leaked last year) I just feel the cliffhanger wasn't particularly cliffhangery.

Hopefully next week will be much, much better.

Wish the Doctor would give Martha some clean clothes. She's been wearing those now for at least three days. He found time to change. Or is this because he thinks it's still part of her 'one trip' so won't offer her the chance to explore the wardrobe room?

7/10