kaliha: (Jack n Gwen // gahdzuks)
[personal profile] kaliha
I've just realised that I've watched this episode FOUR times. That's a ridiculous amount, once when it was on BBC three, twice for capping and once when it was on BBC Two. Thank goodness it was actually a rather good episode.



Torchwood investigate a thistle that's behaving suspiciously


Let's all just take a moment to admire Jack's swishy coat.
It's very very swishy. Tosh's is quite funky too. You have to give it to Team Torchwood they do have a very good line in coats.

Oversleeping is a bit rubbish isn't it?
I wish my phone was annoyingly beepy when I was late for work. Did anyone else notice how Rhys was sleeping on the wrong end of the end. What on earth have they been up to?

It's a Trap!!
Okay, why aren't they running? I know being faced with a bomb counting down to zero is a bit scary, but you don't know how big the explosion is going to be, surely it'll be prudent to try and get away from said bomb so that you aren't blown to many, many little pieces. I'm just sayin' And I'm not completely sure that even Jack can come back from being blown to bits (or actually, thinking about it and his impending Boe-ness, maybe he can. Tangently from that, why isn't the Face of Boe more of an incorrigible flirt, surely it wouldn't have faded over 5 billion years)

How does Jack manage to still look so pretty when he's dead? It's a skill I tell you!

That's a lot of deaths
Jack is amazingly clumsy with his lives. Although if you work it out on average he's dying 12 or 13 times a year. There's obviously some points where he was dying a little bit more often as he's only snuffed it what 5 times (shot by Suzie, killed by Abaddon, trip through the Vortex, radiation, being blown up by a bomb) in the last year and a bit. (That's on-screen deaths only. I'm sure the Master upped the death quotient a fair bit during the Year That Never Was.)

Torso of steel a shilling a feel
I think that's rather good value for money. *goes off to find a few shillings* Why do I think that Jack was using his amazing skills of not dying to earn a bit of extra cash. (After all that's what he did when he ran away to join the circus). Give him his due he's a bit resourceful.

The Victorian Team Torchwood are not impressed
And won't be parting with their cash. However, they are happy to beat Jack up and then chloroform him. Because that's obviously the friendly welcome visitors get to Cardiff. (They're a bit more welcoming now)

They are very competent though. Jack should be taking notes.

Poor Jack.
This picture mostly used because John's expression makes me laugh. Chloroforming is not funny business though kids, don't do it!

Be still your beating hearts – Jack's getting his top off!
Mind you, him getting electrocuted isn't that much fun. Torchwood have always been somewhat shady haven’t they? It's interesting to note that being electrocuted with the sort of force that would kill someone doesn't actually kill Jack.

Captain Jack Harkness- Not particularly circumspect
If he was telling people he'd "find the Doctor … I'd kiss him and then I'd kill him." It was no wonder he got glassed. People didn't like that sort of talk in those days.

Obligatory Orgasm Face picture
It's a definite tradition now.

The "hello, we've run out of budget" monster
Glad to see the old blowfish back again. It was a really nifty bit of make-up and I really liked the way his 'fin' moves up and down. Also, he looks ace in the Victorian costume.

Unfortunately Blowfish have this awful habit of getting shot in this show
The Blowfish race should complain or something. Or withhold their licence fee.

I like the inside of Victorian Torchwood
Although the matt painting makes the main room look absolutely massive. I like also the open fireplace and the green wallpaper in 'Jack''s office. It look a bit more homely than the somewhat run down state of disrepair that the Hub is now mostly in.

"He's nice!"
The Jack Harkness charm strikes again. Must be those fifty-first century pheromones.

Y HALO THAR Creepy girl
Much less creepy than the Test Card girl this time. She doesn't age so just what/who is she? She wasted good beer though throwing ti away like that.

Jack gets himself a new job

Team Torchwood 1899 will have something pretty to look at over the next few years at least.

Well, it'll pass the time for the next hundred years. It's strange how Jack is resigned to the waiting and everything, but doesn't seem particularly bothered about the possible ageing or anything. Then again, we really don’t know what sort of longevity people from the 51st Century have. It wouldn't be surprising if the human race could live to 200 or something as a matter of course. I mean, just look at how long average life expectancy have increased in just the last 100 years. And that's not counting all the people who have more than a bit of alien blood in them.

But Jack keeps himself busy
Checking up on the status of the Doctor. And obviously getting a telling off every time he does. I wonder how many filing cabinets in the vaults of the Hub are dedicated to Jack.

Happy New Year Jack!
Not a big fan of the utility waistcoat I have to admit Jack. [/fashion snob]

What a terrible thing to come back to, all the team shot dead by your boss. It's interesting that Jack's not in charge when he's (by far) the longest serving member of staff. Obviously he's much too naughty to get promoted. Or maybe he's not eligible because he's now not completely human. Or they can't sort him out on the payroll because he doesn't have a national insurance number?

It's Jack's Watch!
So it's not a normal pocket watch then, and it explains why Jack doesn't open it to look at the time. It's much to dangerous for that. But just what did Alex see when he looked into the clock? Daleks and Cybermen razing London? The Sycorax? Or something much, much worse? (Echoes maybe of the Sleeper aliens?)

:(
Poor Jack. It's not been really the best night for him.

He's dead! He didn't have a pulse
Poor Rhys, Jack just keeps on surprising him and as always not in a good way. And jack's just as pleased to discover that Rhys is the first thing he sees when he comes back to the world of the living.

Someone needs to explain nicely to Gwen that when your work rings you to say that they're tracking aliens unknown, you don't drag your hubby along with you.
Next we have Tosh's story. Although this is taking place, I think, just before she goes to check out an alien spacepig. Which happened (in mind numbing paradoxical fashion) in 2006 and this must be roughly 2005.

She's always had a talent for computers.
Although printing access codes in massive (viewer friendly) font like that isn't particularly security minded.

Why do they label stuff "For You Eyes Only"?
I know it's a bit of a James Bond convention but it's really nonsensical. Anyone looking at that could think it was for their eyes only.

You gotta have a montage!
I've said it before and I'll say it again Team America have ruined the humble montage because now I always want to sing the montage song.

But what on earth is she building?
It's certainly not an Airfix hobby kit.

It's a very strange set up
What on earth would she want a proto-sonic screwdriver for? And who is she? I reckon that they're some weird off-shoot of Torchwood One. I don't know, it just seems like their sort of MO. I have no tangible evidence to back up my wild claim though.

And the fact they kidnapped Tosh's mum to make her co-operate
Makes me all the more convinced.

This isn't UNIT
I refuse to believe that they are the same organisation as the one that existed in the Sixties. The Brig would never allow the treatment of prisoners like that, especially as a United Nations offshoot.

UNIT wouldn't imprison people without trial or decent treatment, they certainly wouldn't beat up their prisoners. Maybe I'm looking at this through Rose-tinted spectacles, but look at how well they treated the Doctor back in the olden days.

I am positive that this is a Torchwood front. After all Torchwood is supposed to be completely Top Secret and UNIT is the 'public' face of alien investigation.

It would also neatly explain how Jack knew about Tosh
UNIT and Torchwood don't get on. This has been made clear. So there's no way that UNIT would let Torchwood know about prisoners they have in custody.

And is it more than just a coincidence that Jack asked Tosh to work for him for five years and see if she liked it She's coming to the end of her 'contract' now after all.

Poor Rhys has some belated worry over what blew the warehouse up
After all it's a Torchwood tradition to just go running in. Who should be remembering to bring the Geiger counter with them.

That suit's ruined you know
The dry cleaners will never be able to tidy that up. In fact I think this is the muckiest that we've ever seen Ianto.

It's Ianto's story next
So it's been two years since the fall of Canary Wharf. (Which in the Doctor Who timeline was around 2008) That puts present day Torchwood in late 2010 then. Cardiff doesn't change much over the next couple of years then?

Jack spends his evening scrapping with Weevils
In a proto-Fight Club. No wonder that estate agent got the idea.

Ianto in jeans looks really really weird
I've gotten used, so quickly to him wearing a suit all the time (or a couple of well placed fronds of alien foliage. He likes Jack's coat though. (But then again, who doesn't)

Hello there, I'm a random man offering you coffee
It's certainly an original way of trying to get a job. I wonder how long he was standing out there with his little cup of coffee in his hand. And how on earth did he keep it warm? Enquiring minds need to know.

And then Jack, trustingly, just drinks it
It could be poisoned or anything, drugged, full of retcon and there Jack goes calmly drinking it. I suppose when he was in the Time Agency they were given implants or had their DNA changed or something that would prevent them from getting poisoned/drunk, maybe that's why Jack doesn't drink.

Ianto still likes his coat though.
And I think Jack quite likes that he likes it.

Look at that rain!
Poor Team Torchwood, they've had to do their filming in some really vile weather this year.

Torchwood London would have had that
Even Ianto realises how incompetent Team Torchwood actually are. He's probably dragged them up to competence from the moment he started working for them.

51st century pheromones – it's like the Lynx Effect
You'd think Ianto would be more surprised by that weird admission, unless he's also been doing his research about Jack, After all there's filing cabinets full of info on Jack. Some of it must have got back to Torchwood One.

Things we've learnt about pterodactyls
They are big fans of Green and Black's organic dark chocolate. (Quite right too, it's yummy). They are also quite fond of Ianto's. And less fond of Jack's. I believe that this is important to know.

I feel this screencap neatly sums up everything I love about Torchwood
Captain Jack, fighting a flying pterodactyl. It's absolutely craziness. Brilliant!

Yes, this is a somewhat compromising situation. Oh well
It's not like Myfanwy is in a fit state to tell anyone.

Don't cry emo coffee boy
There seems to be a lot of different ideas as to why Ianto is a bit teary at this point. Some people seem to think that he's a bit ashamed of his attraction to Jack because he still loves Lisa (who's currently in his shed), maybe it's a bit of relief at not being eaten by a pterodactyl? My take on it is that he's not a willing manspy, he's realised that he's a bit attracted to Jack (damn those 51st Century pheromones) and he's upset about the sudden and inevitable betrayal that is going to come at some point in the future.

Or he could be glad that he wasn't Myfanwy's tea.

Ianto – manspy extraordinaire
This now a fact. A complete fact. Let's look over the evidence:
[x] Ianto came to Cardiff purely to come and join Torchwood Three (not Scotland, not the mysterious vanishing Torchwood or UNIT).
[x] He'd done all his research beforehand. How else did he know about the Weevils – they seem to be a purely Cardiff-based phenomenon.
[x] He's very well kitted up, what with his Rift-location device

I suppose that it could be argued that Ianto needed to get into Torchwood to try and help out Lisa, and that makes a neat cover story, but I don't think it's the full truth. There's more of an agenda here, but we still don't quite see what it is.

And look how quickly he got settled into Torchwood Cardiff too. I thought he'd been there for ages (thanks to the random way the timelines seem to flow between the series) but he's only been there for 21 months, that's no time at all. And he knows so much about how Torchwood Three works, what's down in the vaults, what's been discovered by previous teams. He's been seriously doing his research. I'm quite sure that it's not just because he wants to feel useful. It's obvious that he knows more about the place that Jack does and he's been there for over a hundred years.

Having a dislocated shoulder popped back in is not fun
Ianto was very manly about it. Well done him.

Owen, even though he's dead, is stuck in mortal danger
It’s a bit rubbish, how, even when you're dead you can still get yourself into mortal danger. You'd think you'd have a 'get out death free' card or something.

It's an Owen you'd never thought you'd ever see
Madly in love, not cheating on anyone, nice, kind and really rather sweet. Are you sure we're not actually in the alternate universe?

Things aren't going well
This fact is compounded by the fact Jack 'Angel of Death' Harkness has shown up.

And discovering that your love has an alien in her head
Doesn't make it any better. It's almost no surprise that Owen turned into a bit of a git. What's the point of giving your love to a woman if she's going to leave you?

Jack tries to make it better 1899 Torchwood style
Because chloroforming someone is always the way to go. Why not a little bit of retcon? That would have been kinder.

It’s another really avant garde job interview
You go and chloroform someone, take their fiancée's brain, let them beat you up in a graveyard and then you hire them. What's all that about? Jack certainly does things his way.

Welcome to the office
Owen is surprisingly not freaked out by it all. Even by the disembodied body parts in jars right by the front door. Well, it's a talking point innit.

Dude! Where's my car!
Oh John you are a very naughty boy aren't you? All this because Jack jilted you? That's just not British.

Dude! Where's my brother?
So, John wasn't joking about knowing where Grey/Gray was then. Just like his big brither he seems to have a bit of a liking for handcuffs. I wonder just how much like Jack he actually is.

I'm sure that we'll find out in the next episode.

Sad Jack is sad
I think it is physically impossible for John Barrowman to look more miserable than this.

In Conclusion Nice to finally get some back story on the characters. It's filled in some holes, but in true Lost style it's only brought up more. Yes, I do have some issues about the treatment of UNIT in this episode (but it does explain why Tosh was quite reserved around Martha).

8/10
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August 2013

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