kaliha | Illustrated thoughts on Torchwood (2x05 only)

It's not just the Doctor who has a Converse fetish

It's so nice to see Gwen and Rhys actually happy. And they went off for a dirty weekend in Paris. God love them.

Hang on, he's not a normal fixture

All of a sudden I'm having Border Princes flashbacks. At least he's not your magical Gary-Stu with sparkly eyes and glittery magical powers...oh wait....well, they're not glittery anyway.

Gwen is very observant

And quickly notices that something is amiss. NOTHING gets past this girl. That's why she was so good in the heddlu.

Y halo thar Tosh

And seemingly another two new characters. *ahem* You'd think Tosh, being the most competent of all of them would notice that something's up, but not, she's completely under Adam's spell. And Adam Smith? You'd think he'd be more imaginative than that. I wonder what's in that box? Hmmm...

Jack's starting to see things

Who is the small child? Oh, I wonder...... :p

Is it really appropriate to be engaging in a game of kiss chase in front of the prisoners

Janet certainly doesn't look particularly impressed.

a rat with a rat?

Now that's just a bit unkind. Owen is looking a bit Lovjoy-esque in his cardigan though (fashion note: cardigans NEVER look cool, not even on a snowman.) It's quite sweet to see this slightly more geeky side of Owen. And I never thought I'd ever use sweet and Owen in the same sentence.

Gwen goes off on one.

I think it's an unwritten rule that the good ship Gwen/Rhys is not allowed to be happy for more than 6 minutes. Look at Gwen, brandishing a kitchen knife at poor Rhys. It's a little bit depressing at how quickly she forgot him. Yet remembers Torchwood and Jack. Bad Gwen.

It's not my fault, Guv

And for once it actually isn't. However, Rhys can't take much comfort in that.

The BBC must have a contract with Nokia

it's obviously a super-dooper jiggerypokeried version of that particular make of phone

Because the picture quality is rather amazing. Gwen's still got nothing though. Poor Rhys. (I notice that I say that a lot. Poor Rhys).

Aww, Owen made Tosh a packed lunch

In a lovely reversal from last week. I do like their role reversal. Very much so. It's lovely to see Tosh full of self-confidence and dressing accordingly.

This is an awkward moment

No one will face an angry Rhys. They know what happens when you rile a Welshman, oh yes.

Jack's being imagined!stalked

It's been said for a while that Jack's probably gone a little insane. Not surprising really the amount of knocks to the head and deaths he's had recently.

Who wouldn't want to go out drinking with this woman

Adam seems to have this habit of being where he's needed

Funny that. In a terrible case of location cross pollination, Jack has an emo!moment on the same playground which doubled for the Powell Estate on Doctor Who. I've been there!

But they got rid of the Bad Wolf graffitti!!!! Noes!

How it used to look

We finally get some Jack backstory

Like all good skiffy heroes, Jack lives on a desert planet (but by the sea) seemingly in a house made from Lego blocks. And in the future *everyone* speaks with American accents.

Young Jack, looks nothing like growedup Jack though

Jack losing his brother is seemingly his big turning point. It must have been what triggered his signing up with the Time Agency (after all he'd have a better chance to track down the aliens who attacked his settlement and the means to deal out some payback plus the ability to go back and try and fix it - although he never did. I wonder why?)

Owen proclaims his love for Tosh

in a scene that made me actually go "awwww!" And I never thought I'd do that. Owen's character has done such a turn-around this year. it's almost as if the people in the ivory tower at Upper Boat who don't listen to the fans actually listened to the fans and sorted out some of Owen's more abhorrant traits whilst still leaving him a bit of a git.

Tosh, however, is not impressed

And gives Owen a few home truths.

Rant-a-Rhys

Rhys would be perfect for Grumpy Old Men, although he's about 20 years too young.

Ianto, love, you're going to strain your eyes sitting there

reading in the dark. That little seating area could really use a little table lamp or an uplighter or something.

Ianto needs to practice his undercover skills

because jumping three feet into the air when Adam appeared next to him was a bit rubbish. He totally gave the game away with his guilty actions and lost himself some nice memories (probably - they could have been emo!tummy rat memories) to boot.

Adam, Ianto prides himself on 'tidying up'

He wouldn't be hiding bodies in a rolled up carpet. Do your research boy.

Ianto worries about more than just tummy!rats

Poor Ianto. He gets a rough ride. I think it's so the fangirls can coddle him.

Up on the roof! Lalalala

Jack goes to the place where he does his best thinking.

Rhys knows how to woo a lady

Poor Rhys and his worries that Gwen won't love him anymore because she's got a glamourous lifestyle now and he's just plain old Rhys. but as the song goes, it started with a kiss...

Meanwhile, Adam takes adventage of Tosh

But why, pray tell, does he make a point of asking Tosh if she'd die for him? What on earth was he planning? He was planning to do more than just hide in their memories, that was just the first stage.

Ianto's feeling a bit shellshocked

And Jack's pissed off that someone's hurt his best teaboy

So he digs out the universes most unsubtle lie detector

Just look at the massive green lights. Rubbish. It's a lie detector for dummies.

How to look really really guilty, by Ianto and Jack

Oh no, we're not up to anything at all.

Owen's a bit preoccupied to notice that something's up

He's busy trying to make it up to Tosh and raises his game from a little fluffy rat.

But the gig's up

Adam takes having a gun pointed at his head rather well.

better than Tosh does anyway

Tosh, Tosh, Tosh, you really are the Black Widow of team Torchwood. Will you ever fall in love, or will you just have your heart broken (and prospective boyf's killed by Jack) for the rest of your life?

Adam as a species is very interesting

He/it's from the void and has escaped the presumably unescapable void (which doesn't bode well for the security of 5 million Cybermen plus the hundreds of thousands of Daleks floating around in there seriously pissed off with an alien in a pinstriped suit.)

He only exists in the memories of others, so how did he form? Did he just pop into being one day, is he a flesh and blood imaginary friend? How do memories provide sustenance? How did he find the world's least covert secret agency? Does Jack's uniqueness act as a magnet now for more unsavoury visitors to Cardiff (and I'm not tlaking hen parties)

I do like the aliens who aren't just black and white evil. He doesn't see what he does as wrong, he's just trying to survive.

Look into my eyes, not around the eyes...

Jack puts into practice everything he's ever learnt from Paul McKenna. For a change, he's the one actually saving the team.

No wonder Owen turned out the way he did

His lovely mother sounds like a complete cow. I wonder how much of Owen is complete bastard and how much is geek. It must come down to life experiences they've forgotten as Ianto was the only person who had new memories implanted. If Owen had had a nicer relationship with his mum (which he didn seem to have) would he have turned out more geeky?

Tosh draws attention to her magnificent bosom by crying all over it

In the future you can still get crappy windmills from beach shops

Which is good news for both beach shops and crappy windmill makers.

Adam gets his revenge on Jack

By forcing him to retcon his last truly happy memory of childhood. Jack has absolutely no qualms about retconning himself which really does make me think that he's the cause of his missing two years of memory (which haven't been mentioned for years - I hope it's not been forgotten about)

Crying, you're doing it wrong

Jack wakes up slumped outside a cell

But really isn't that bothered about waking up in a strange place. I bet he sleepwalks. Although it would mean also sleep-climbing-up-a-ladder in order to sleepwalk.

The measuring tape never lies

Jack commits the cardinal sin and reads Ianto's journal. Ianto's swear word mouthing made me laugh, a lot.

All that's left of Adam

Is just some grains of sand, and Jack won't even remember that. Adam will be completely forgotten and completely unmourned.

In conclusion
Not as strong an episode as some of the previous weeks, but still better than a lot of series 1 even with the plot holes you could drive a Land Rover through. Thought that Burn, Kai and Noako were absolutely brilliant.

7/10